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Getting pregnant again after a loss can stir up a whole swirl of emotions — and that rollercoaster? It’s completely normal. One moment, you might be feeling over-the-moon grateful, and the next, worried for the health of your current pregnancy or grieving the baby you lost. It’s okay to feel all of it — sometimes all at once.
There’s real power in giving yourself space to process it all and preparing your heart for what’s ahead.
“With the loss of life, there was also the loss of the dreams and hopes that parents had for that child,” says Nicole Taylor, M.D., PMH-C, a board-certified general psychiatrist with a certification in perinatal mental health and a member of the What to Expect Medical Review Board.
Many moms choose to honor those previous pregnancy losses as a way to cope with their grief. This can help you validate and acknowledge your feelings instead of pushing them down, says Dr. Taylor.
There isn’t a right or wrong way to commemorate your previous losses as you await the arrival of your rainbow baby. If you're thinking about how to do it, here are some ideas.
It’s normal for a pregnancy after loss to bring up a swirl of emotions — joy, hope, sadness, worry — sometimes all at once.
Many parents find comfort in honoring the baby they lost during a subsequent pregnancy.
Popular ways to do this include designing a symbolic necklace or ordering a keepsake for the nursery or garden.
1. Order a symbolic piece of jewelry
A necklace, ring, or bracelet with your baby’s birthstone, birth flower, or first initial can serve as a reminder of their impact and continued presence in your life.
“...I got a birthstone ring for our first baby we lost — his due date would have been this 4th of July, and now I’m due October," says What to Expect Community mom savannahbeeee.
Olivia DeLong, WTE's Senior Editor, got an angel pendant with the dates of her losses engraved on the back while she was TTC, and then added an "A" charm when her rainbow baby daughter, Amelia, was born.
How to get your own: This stackable birthstone ring has more than 100 positive reviews, and it’s only $10. You can spend more or less on sites like Amazon or Etsy, or visit your local jeweler.
2. Create a keepsake box
As you start to have appointments for your new pregnancy and bring home numerous ultrasounds to hang on the fridge, you may be reminded of all those collectables from your past pregnancies that you’re not ready to part with just yet.
Collecting everything together in a special box to store away or keep out on display (whatever you prefer) will allow you to keep your little one's memory alive.
"We made a memorial box when we lost a baby last month, between 5 and 6 weeks…We added to it a blanket and stuffed animal and all of our positive pregnancy tests," says WTE mom emnrab. "We named [the stuffed animal] Ciel (unisex play on cielo (heaven/sky)) and wrapped it in ribbon…it gave us a lot of comfort."
How to get your own: There are plenty of custom boxes available online, like this one, but you can also repurpose and decorate your own wooden box.
3. Add an angel statue — or special plant — to your garden
If you enjoy soaking up some time in your garden, it can be the perfect place to commemorate your loss. Not only can getting out in the fresh air boost your mood, but working in the garden helps to reduce stress and anxiety and improve focus and sleep in pregnancy, says Dr. Taylor.
You can place an angel statue among your plants as a comforting reminder of your previous loss while you're tending to the flowers. You could also get creative with a special rock garden in honor of your loss, like WTE mom accaawkward03 says she did, or plant a special tree or flower.
"As you watch the tree grow it is a reminder of the life and love you still have for your child," says Dr. Taylor. When it grows, you can place a swing or a bench near it, and it can become a special place you can go and be with those loved ones who have passed, she adds.
“We got a little garden angel with a solar light so I can always see it when I look outside,” says mom LiL07, who says it's a good option if you're not in your forever home since you can take it anywhere you go.
How to get your own: If you're looking to buy a statue, this one is small and lightweight. You can also head to your local nursery for trees and plants that may be meaningful to you, and one that can grow easily in your climate and with the type of soil that's in your area.
4. Frame a birth flower print
You don’t need a green thumb to honor your previous losses with flowers. You can order prints of both your pregnancy loss's birth month flower, as well as your upcoming baby's birth month flower, and hang them side by side in your rainbow baby's nursery.
“You could order a painting with the specific birth flowers on Etsy, says dmrey617. "I plan to order one with all of our children’s birth flowers when our family is complete."
How to get your own: Etsy creator gatamostaza makes these personalized watercolor birth flower prints, which can even include your baby’s name or due date.
5. Personalize a calendar keychain
As you anticipate the due date of your rainbow baby, you may be reminded of your previous baby's due date, which may bring up some memories or sadness. If you still want to hold onto the due date from your previous pregnancy close to your heart, have a keychain engraved with this date. Whenever you open a door or hop into your car, you can be reminded of your little one. Once your rainbow baby is born, you can add their due date on it, too.
“I had a keychain made that was a small metal calendar with the due date circled. I never used it/put it on my keys, but I keep it in the glove compartment of my car,” says What to Expect mom LMbb.
How to get your own: LMbb’s keychain sounds similar to this keychain on Amazon, which has a heart around the date. Simply add the month, day, and year before you purchase.
6. Start a holiday tradition
When you've experienced a loss, holidays can often bring up some of the grief and sadness that your last baby isn't here, even during a subsequent pregnancy. You had likely thought about what your family would look like this holiday --- maybe your new addition was supposed to be here by now. When those things don't unfold as you envisioned, it can be heartbreaking.
Something as simple as a Christmas ornament can act as a symbol of that pregnancy loss. It can also bring joy by reminding you of that baby.
“My first and now this one (my third) were both conceived in March, due Dec 11 but lost in May," says mom FloraGold. "With our first (whose nickname was egg-related), we bought an egg-shaped porcelain ornament with daffodils on it (daffodils are the birth month flowers for March and December). We have put it on the Christmas tree every year since. With this one, we bought a bell-shaped ornament with daffodils on it to do the same."
How to get your own: Explore your options online and see if there’s one that speaks to you. For example, this bell ornament with daffodils matches FloraGold’s description, and would be perfect if you want something related to their birth month(s).
Any way you choose to remember will be special
Celebrating your rainbow baby while welcoming new life into the world is as unique and personal as your journey — and there’s no one right way to do it. Some families also write a heartfelt poem or letter to both babies and frame it for the nursery. Others engrave a wind chime with their little one’s name. Dr. Taylor especially loves Corinthian bells — they play a whole melody, different each time the wind blows. "Each note is like a hug from your loved one, a reminder that their presence is still woven into your life."
Whatever speaks to your heart — whether it’s words, music, or a keepsake you can hold close — it’s sure to be meaningful. These mementos can help you always cherish the baby you lost while embracing the joy and hope of your rainbow baby’s arrival.