About two-and-a-half weeks after she gave birth to her daughter, Simone Sebastian was driving home when she felt a sudden gush of blood in between her legs. "I started getting this intense cramping in my stomach, and it felt like I was giving birth all over again."
She pulled into the closest parking lot and doubled over in pain.
Just a few minutes earlier, she had been at a visit with her hematologist, who she was seeing due to a suspected blood clot during delivery. At the appointment, Simone had flagged concerns about her heavy bleeding — but the hematologist told her that her symptoms were normal and she was fine.
Simone wasn't taken seriously until doctors saw the bleeding for themselves
Within a few minutes of pulling into the parking lot, a man came over to her car window and asked if she was okay. He took one look at her and called 911 for help.
When she arrived at the hospital, the paramedics wheeled her stretcher from the ambulance and into the hallway. For what felt like hours, she lay there under the fluorescent lights. Nurses and doctors were bustling by, but no one stopped to check on her or set her up in a room.
"I asked the medics if I could see someone because I was feeling myself bleeding a lot,” she says. "I asked why it was taking so long for me to see someone." They replied that they were seeing people with "real emergencies" first, she remembers.
To Sebastian, that was a major blow. The last time she had been at the hospital, everyone was quick to respond because she was in labor with her baby. But now that she was postpartum, no one looked her way. “I felt like I didn't matter anymore,” she says.
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And even when she was wheeled into an exam room, her medical team’s sense of urgency didn’t increase.
"The energy and the tone felt so different from what my internal energy and tone were," she says. "I was freaking out on the inside, not understanding what was going on with me. The doctor started talking to me very casually, as if this was just a regular, routine appointment.”
But once she disrobed, everyone in the room finally started paying attention.
"I took off my jeans and there was a huge amount of blood," she says. "All of a sudden, more nurses rushed into the room, then more and more providers took over."
Sebastian was given an ultrasound, which helped doctors see that she had a retained placenta — meaning there was still a portion of her placenta left inside her uterus. She was told that they might need to perform a dilation and curettage (D&C) to remove it.
Sebastian, who’d had a previous miscarriage, knew a little bit about D&Cs from her research back then. She asked them to consider other options or at least wait until her mother arrived to start the procedure, but she was told that there was no time.
"My body was pretty much giving birth again to get rid of the retained placenta," she says. "The doctors wanted to go in and make sure that all of it was out.”
Once Sebastian signed the necessary forms, the nurses began poking her arm to start an IV and prepare to put her under anesthesia. Her fear of needles left her shaking and terrified.
The last thing Sebastian remembers before the procedure was locking eyes with one of the care providers. “The look on her face was complete empathy,” she says. “I just locked eyes with her because she was the closest thing I had to somebody who seemed to care about me as a human being at that moment."
She wants moms to know that your feelings matter — and to keep advocating for yourself
It’s not always easy to find your voice, especially when you’ve just given birth and you’re exhausted and overwhelmed. But Sebastian wants to remind you how important it can be.
"Motherhood is supposed to be such an important role in society,” she says. “But from the moment we give birth, it feels like we are discounted and forgotten about.”
If you feel like no one is listening to your concerns postpartum, here are some things that can help:
Use a script to start the conversation. It's easy to get nervous when you get into the exam room. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has a helpful campaign called HEAR HER, which aims to help pregnant and postpartum moms feel more confident talking with their providers about serious signs and symptoms. The campaign provides a helpful guide for how to start a conversation with your provider. Try using the following script when talking with your doctor:
Thank you for seeing me. I am pregnant/I was recently pregnant. The date of my last period/delivery was ________ and I have serious concerns about my health that I'd like to talk to you about.
I have been having __________ (insert symptoms) that feel like __________ (describe in detail) and have been lasting _________ (number of hours/days).
Have a few questions ready for your medical team. Asking questions is an important part of understanding your symptoms and what options you have for moving forward, which will ultimately help you feel better both mentally and physically. If your mind goes blank in the moment (so normal), here are a few questions you can keep in your back pocket:
What could these symptoms mean?
Is there a test I can have to rule out a serious problem?
At what point should I consider going to the emergency room or calling 911?
Ask for a follow-up appointment if you're cleared to go home. If your provider has finished their testing and finds that you're clear to go home, request a follow-up appointment for a few days or weeks later. Seeing your provider again in a few days or weeks will give you the space to discuss any lingering symptoms. If you're feeling better, seeing them again can help reassure you that you're recovering fully.
Ask for another opinion. If you're still not getting the help you need and deserve, it's okay to ask if there is another provider that you can talk to that day. If not, you can always call your insurance company to learn what other providers are covered under your plan and schedule an appointment with someone who can see you soon.
Bring a support person. "Another set of ears and another voice can be very helpful, especially if you are scared or anxious," says Shannon Smith, M.D., OB/GYN and What to Expect Medical Review Board member.
"Good healthcare is a partnership,” says Dr. Smith. “You deserve to be heard, respected and taken seriously. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself — and if something doesn’t feel right, keep asking questions until it does.”
Signs and symptoms of postpartum hemorrhage
If you're experiencing any of the following symptoms, it may mean that there is a complication, like postpartum hemorrhage, after birth. You should contact your provider right away if you are:
Soaking through more than one sanitary pad an hour
Having bright red bleeding for more than a few days
Passing very large blood clots (think: the size of a lime or bigger)
Experiencing faintness, breathlessness, dizziness or a racing heart
Experiencing nausea or vomiting
Having swelling and pain around the vagina or perineum (the area in between the vagina and rectum)
If you aren't able to reach your provider immediately and have any of these symptoms, call 911.
Sebastian is sharing her story so that no other woman feels as helpless as she did during one of the most vulnerable times of her life.
All mothers deserve to be heard, to get answers and to receive the care they need.
Join What to Expect on July 23 for #BumpDay to show your support for pregnancy and postpartum care that supports every mom, everywhere. Post a baby bump pic — yours or one you love, past or present — or simply share a message of solidarity with the hashtag #BumpDay.
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