Breastfeeding your baby is a memorable phase, but it doesn't last forever. At some point, every nursing mom starts to get the sense that it might be time to stop. But exactly when that feeling hits can be different for everyone.
Ultimately, it's okay to begin weaning your baby whenever you feel ready, experts say.
"There are many reasons why a parent may choose to stop breastfeeding, including mental health challenges, medical conditions, or simply wanting more autonomy and balance," says Florencia Segura, M.D., a pediatrician in Vienna, Virginia, fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), and member of the What to Expect Medical Review Board. “All are completely valid.”
If you're unsure, here's a look at some of the common scenarios that might bring on the curtain call.
Your mental health is suffering
Every nursing session doesn't have to feel like rainbows and flowers. But if breastfeeding-related challenges are causing you a lot of stress, anxiety, or emotional distress, it's okay to stop.
Sometimes complications, like latching issues, low milk supply, or physical pain that arise with nursing can take a legit toll on your mental health, according to the Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA).[1]
"I think it’s because I’m still having to share my body so much," says What to Expect Community mom chelbee4200.
That's also true if you're dealing with postpartum depression or postpartum anxiety. Sometimes getting those feelings under control means finding ways to cut yourself a break.
If taking breastfeeding off your plate makes life feel a little more manageable, it may be worth it to end your journey, Dr. Segura says.
Your baby isn't gaining weight
Slow or inadequate growth could be a sign that your supply is too low to support your baby's needs. If you've taken steps to increase your supply and they haven't done enough, you should talk with your baby's pediatrician to come up with a plan for your baby to get enough calories and nutrients.
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Depending on your situation, you might opt to try supplementing with formula. With the right approach, most babies do fine going back and forth from breast to bottle. It's also okay to switch completely to formula, if that's what you'd prefer.
"I’m a FTM [full-time mom] and stopped when my baby was 6 weeks," says What to Expect Community member emmacat. "I mainly stopped due to supply issues, I tried everything to get a good supply and nothing worked. I stopped putting so much pressure on myself and focused more on ensuring my baby is happy and fed."
Your baby has allergies or another medical condition
You might also need to stop breastfeeding if your baby has a food allergy to something in your diet — most often, the culprit is cow's milk. (Signs of a possible food allergy include bad colic or abdominal discomfort, a skin rash, vomiting, or diarrhea with or without blood.)
Many moms find that cutting out the offending food makes a difference within 10 days, according to La Leche League. [2] That said, it doesn't work for everyone.
"Approximately 5 to 10% of infants do not respond to the elimination of dairy from the maternal diet while breastfeeding," Dr. Segura explains. If that seems to be the case, you might opt to move on and offer a nondairy formula instead.
In rare instances, a baby may need to stop breastfeeding because of galactosemia, a metabolic disorder where the body is unable to process the sugar galactose, which is found in breast milk and many formulas.
Symptoms of galactosemia (which can include loss of appetite, lethargy, vomiting, diarrhea, trouble gaining weight, and a swollen belly) usually start within a few days of a newborn beginning to breastfeed.
If you suspect your baby is affected, talk to the pediatrician. You'll need to stop breastfeeding and feed your baby a galactose-free formula, like a soy-based or elemental formula.
Your baby is crying all the time and seems hungry or like she isn’t getting enough milk
Babies can fuss for a lot of different reasons after they eat. Some, like a little bit of gas, can be short-lived and harmless.
But if your baby consistently seems unhappy and uncomfortable after nursing, even if she isn’t having severe symptoms like failure to gain weight or blood-tinged diarrhea, there could be something going on that needs to be addressed.
For instance, you might have an oversupply or a too-forceful flow that's causing your baby to get too much milk at once. A hungry, fussy baby could also be another sign of low milk supply.
Or maybe your baby is uncomfortable because she has reflux or a sneaky case of oral thrush (which can cause mouth pain).
It's definitely worth working with your baby's pediatrician or a certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) to try to figure out what the problem is so you can rule out anything serious.
But if you and your provider determine that it's a breastfeeding-related issue, and stopping nursing seems easier or more feasible than trying to address it, it's perfectly okay to switch to formula or experiment with combo feeding.
You don't want to breastfeed anymore
In addition to providing important benefits for babies, breastfeeding can be incredibly rewarding for nursing parents. But it's also hard work. Even when it's going smoothly, feeding your baby on demand takes a lot out of you physically and emotionally.
"I felt like I was always pumping, cleaning parts, etc. and wasn’t spending as much time with my little one as I wanted," says What to Expect Community mom Ktmay91, who stopped breastfeeding when her baby was about 3 months old. "I felt myself spiraling."
So if you just want to be done, that's a-okay. The decision on when to stop breastfeeding is your choice.
"It's absolutely okay to stop simply because you're ready," Dr. Segura says.
And while it's normal to worry that you'll be judged for either putting an end to your nursing days too soon or breastfeeding for too long, know that whatever you decide is okay.
"I had some shame and guilt, and once I talked to some people about it, I realized I wasn’t alone," says Ktmay91. "I switched to formula, and my mental health almost immediately improved. Everyone is different, and for me, switching to formula completely turned my life around."
When you should not stop breastfeeding
Breastfeeding comes with important benefits for your baby. So if you're feeling good about nursing and your baby is growing and thriving, keep it up!
The AAP recommends breastfeeding your baby exclusively until she’s 6 months old if possible,[3] continuing after solid foods are introduced for up to two years and beyond, or as long as you and your baby want.
On the other hand? If you're hitting some speedbumps while breastfeeding but you want to continue, you should absolutely keep trying. In that case, it's worth getting help so you can keep working towards your goals.
"Having the right support can be instrumental," Dr. Segura says.
Your baby's pediatrician and a lactation consultant are good places to start. You can also get encouragement from breastfeeding support groups (both in-person and online) or friends who are nursing or have nursed and know where you're coming from.
Know that some potential hormonal changes, like temporary breast engorgement and mood swings, can come with putting an end to breastfeeding. They’re completely normal, and they won’t last.
One other thing: Even if you're thinking that it might be time to wrap up soon, if you and your family are about to embark on any big changes (like going back to work, starting day care, introducing a new sibling, or moving to a new home), it may be worth continuing to breastfeed through the transition, if your baby or toddler is still up for it. When things feel new or uncertain for your little one, nursing can be a big source of comfort and security.
Ultimately, there are lots of different reasons why someone might opt to stop breastfeeding, and you know your situation best.
"How long you breastfeed should depend on what feels sustainable and beneficial for you and your baby," Dr. Segura says. "When the costs start outweighing the benefits for your family, it may be time to adjust or stop."
You get to choose when to stop breastfeeding. It's your decision, and any reason for wanting to stop is valid.
You can stop breastfeeding if it's no longer working for you or your baby. It's also okay to seek support first to try to continue to make nursing or combination feeding work.
If things are going well with nursing and you're both happy, keep it up. Breastfeeding benefits both you and your baby. If you want to keep going but are running into challenges, seek support.
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