By Kristyn Hodgdon, as told to Blake Bakkila
I have 6-year-old twins, and their birth in October 2018 was very…traumatic. I delivered my daughter Brooke vaginally, and then after pushing for another hour, I was rushed into an emergency C-section to deliver my son Charlie. His heart rate was dropping and doctors made the decision to proceed with a C-section.
I was also treated for a postpartum hemorrhage shortly after delivering. Thankfully, everyone was healthy in the end, but it was far from the birth experience I’d expected.
My husband Dan and I wanted to grow our family even more. My twins were IVF babies, and I was so certain I was going to have another successful pregnancy with one of the nine embryos we already had on ice. But after two years, five failed egg transfers and two miscarriages, we still weren’t pregnant and I decided to switch providers for a fresh start.
For the next six months, my new doctor suggested I take a hormone holiday. I could reflect and grieve, but I didn’t have to do anything. I had been on the IVF train for so long, and I just needed someone to tell me that it was okay to take a break. Then in January 2024, I did a fresh egg retrieval. Our first transfer the following April stuck
I didn't always want to have a VBAC
I wanted to have a scheduled C-section this time around because I didn't want any more surprises. I know that anything is possible when it comes to birth, but planning for a C-section felt like the best way to go into delivery knowing that my birth plan would be followed exactly as discussed.
However, as my pregnancy progressed, I saw different providers —and many of them said I’d be a good candidate for a vaginal birth after Cesarean (VBAC). This was because I had delivered my daughter vaginally, and having a vaginal delivery before or after a prior C-section improves your chances for a successful VBAC, according to the Mayo Clinic.
I learned that a VBAC is traditionally called a "trial of labor after C-section" (TOLAC) because it doesn't always work. In fact, 28% of VBAC attempts are unsuccessful, according to a 2021 study published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology.
At first I didn’t like these odds. I was traumatized by what I’d gone through with the birth of my son. It felt so out of my control, and I didn't want to have to have that experience again.
My doctors’ confidence changed my mind. I was told that my specific odds increased because I had a "proven uterus" (meaning I had delivered vaginally before), so there was a good chance that I could do it again.
After these conversations and some additional research, I started to think I really could deliver this baby vaginally. Plus, I knew recovery from a vaginal delivery would be significantly easier than a C-section.
So, we changed our plan: At 32 weeks pregnant, I began preparing for a potential VBAC.
My VBAC was hard, but worth it
At my 38-week appointment, one of my favorite OB/GYNs checked my cervix. I was already four centimeters dilated and having minor contractions. She stripped my membranes, a technique that manually separates a baby's amniotic sac from the lower part of the uterus, to try to jumpstart labor.
Later that night, I woke up with painful and frequent contractions. I was able to go back to sleep for a bit, but I called my doctor first thing the next morning. She said to meet her at the hospital, so we packed up and said goodbye to the twins, who were staying with their grandparents.
Once we got to the hospital, my doctor examined me, and I was already 5 centimeters dilated.
Over the next few hours, my contractions became increasingly painful. Some time that afternoon, I got an epidural and then my doctor broke my water. It felt like a huge gush of water that never stopped coming.
I actually thought the epidural hadn't worked because my contractions were still somewhat painful, and I had horrible back pain. Around 8 p.m., I was 10 centimeters, though, and ready to push.
The epidural did work, because at that point I didn't feel a single thing. My baby boy’s heart rate went up a few minutes into pushing. My doctor looked at me and said, “We can do this.”
After about the fifth contraction and at exactly 8:21 p.m., my doctor said, "Kristyn, reach down." On the last push, she let me pull my son, Danny, out. Just like I had seen in so many movies, I immediately placed him on my chest, and heard him crying
It was the birth I had always dreamed of. Everything went smoothly and I was able to snuggle Danny for those first few moments of his life, which felt so special.
A VBAC was my goal — but having my doctor’s support meant more
I felt so much peace after I had my VBAC. I was able to get up and walk normally pretty quickly afterward, which was such a blessing. I thought, "Wow, this is why some people just keep having kids."
I would have been totally okay with a scheduled C-section, but I'm glad the VBAC worked out.
Despite my very valid fears going into the experience, I learned that my past birth didn’t have to dictate what happened with this one.
I found providers who would listen, and they kept me in the loop from about all of the decisions they made, like when to break my water and when to take breaks from pushing.
I trusted them and that they would let me know if the VBAC wasn't working and we had to change plans. They understood that I didn't want to have another traumatic birth.
In turn, I had an empowering delivery. I felt safe and heard during my birthing experience.
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